Return to the Woods

Taken from my backpacking journal, entry dated to September 24th, written at a camp on the edge of a lake in the Sierras of the western USA.

Like many people, I love to go hiking and backpacking. And camping. For most people it's pretty obvious why it's enjoyable, and why it isn't. You get to experience natural beauty. You don't have to worry about anything except your own survival. You can be alone and free with your thoughts. It's also difficult, dirty and uncomfortable. You have to forgo many of the common conveniences we've grown accostomed to.

For a long time I thought the wilderness was where I belonged. I was in the boy scouts through childhood (highly recommend, I think they accept more than just boys now too), and they taught me how to survive in the wilderness (editing note: they only teach the basics, you'll need proper training to actually "survive" on your own). How to start a fire, how to perform first aid, valuable outdoor knowledge. Whenever I went on trips with them, I felt refreshed and at home, as if the weight of acting as a "human being" in a "civilized society" was lifted off my shoulders. In the wilderness, everything you need to worry about is right there in front of you, and if something is wrong, you know right away (editing note: that doesn't always mean the mistakes you make have immediate consequences, be prepared!).

Eventually I grew up and left the scouts, and got too busy with college and work to take trips of any kind. I didn't like it, nature is therapudic, and I needed that in my life. Eventually (now, really) I got to have enough freedom to start car camping and backpacking again, and it's good to be back.

A lot of people take long journeys out into the wilderness alone to "find themselves". Others give up on society entirely, preferring instead to live more naturally, closer to how our ancestors lived. I've considered doing these things myself. But, staying out here for too long, feeling the emptiness take hold, I've had to ask myself if I'm "getting away" from it all or if I'm "running away" from it. There are many things I love about the modern world - the computers, the music, urban ruins, and perhaps most importantly, other humans. As much as we may want to return to our roots as hunter-gatherers, it's hard to find a community that way (editing note: or maybe I'm just not cut out for it lol).

So I stay in the middle between two worlds. Between the technological hell that destroys us, and the natural world left over once we're all gone.